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We’re not directing the writing at you, personally — your ignorance was just our inspiration (there, doesn’t that make you feel better? The same will happen when you say “anxious” when you mean “eager” and when you answer “good” when someone asks how you are doing. Embrace it (that’s what attracted you to us in the first place, after all).

Don’t be surprised if we’re not impressed when you say, “I’m a writer, too.” No, you are not.

Even if it does seem like an interview, we’re paying attention to what you have to say (see rule No. We’ll write about you or your thoughts because you’re an important part of our life and we care about you (see rule No. Feel free to add to the list, point out where I’ve missed something or leave a comment.

Be in no doubt about it - freelance journalism is a very tough gig.

You don’t do that unless you’re confident, even egotistical.

You may have some great journal entries, poems and rudimentary short stories — good for you.

Here’s what you need to know: 1 We can figure things out.

Understand, we’re paid to dig deep, find the secrets and wade through bullshit.

Nor does the fact that you “wrote some poems in high school” or that one day you want to pen “the great American novel.” Look, we’re paid to write. We’re not spewing our angst or trying to fabricate an aura of creativity.

We write about the real world — with real consequences.

Our words go through three or four cranky editors who make us rewrite before it’s printed a few hundred thousand times and distributed all over town.

Then check out these amazing videos that will get you straight on the journey of meeting and attracting your dream guy.

But it’s all well and due, thanks to several recent conversations. But journalists aren’t like the bimbos you usually pick up at the bar.

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